Старпом Гаврилов
"На какое животное вы похожи?" - "Я похож не на животное. Я похож н солнечный зайчик" - "Почему?" - "Потому что радостно".
Старпом Гаврилов, знаменитый своим выражением "не ссы мне соль на раны", медленно движется вдоль строя.
Он огромен и сучковат.
Старпом, конечно.
Собственно, построения еще нет - команды не было - люди стоят сами, а старпом не выспался: ночь на борту, отработка по борьбе за живучесть полное говно, козлы вахтенные, вентиляция в каюте, вонища, спал лицом в подушку и опух.
Строй чирикает, как весенние воробьи: офицеры еще сорок минут назад лежали на женщинах, хорошо, тепло, старпом идет.
И вдруг ему почудилось, что где-то на траверзе сказали слово "старпом". Он мгновенно разворачивается всем телом и первому попавшемуся лейтенанту: "Закройте рот!!!"
Это даже не крик, это рев, камнепад, рык, обвал, стихия так падает.
Оцепенели. Одеревенели. До того неожиданно. Да. Секунда проходит, потом старпом движется далее, и с боков, потихоньку попробовав, зачирикали вновь...
Помощник Шинкин думает наперегонки с шагом.
Поэтому всегда можно определить скорость его мышления.
Сам Шинкин маленький колченогий брюнет с ручками-пропеллерами - они у него приделаны сбоку и болтаются.
"Завтра аттестаты! (Быстрей!) Проверить! (Ну!) В дивизии приказы! (Так!) Нарыть! (Ага!) Количество на борту! (Скорость!) Уродов подстричь! (А!) Козлов истребить! (Б!) Физически (Поддать!) Петрова посадить! Через сутки за бутылку выкупит и на ввод ГЭУ. А то напьется, как в прошлый раз! (Бегом!) Химику настучать по роже! Песню распечатать. Списки на классность подать! Ходжимуратова сгноить! Людей сверить! А то получится ху..."
И тут он падает в люк. Тот встретился по дороге и за заботами не был замечен.
Шинкина привезли на корабль на тележке с загипсованной ногой. Грузили на корабль на талях.
На талях он думал медленно: "Завтра... аттестаты... проверить.." - ну и так далее.
Старпом Гаврилов, знаменитый своим выражением "не ссы мне соль на раны", медленно движется вдоль строя.
Он огромен и сучковат.
Старпом, конечно.
Собственно, построения еще нет - команды не было - люди стоят сами, а старпом не выспался: ночь на борту, отработка по борьбе за живучесть полное говно, козлы вахтенные, вентиляция в каюте, вонища, спал лицом в подушку и опух.
Строй чирикает, как весенние воробьи: офицеры еще сорок минут назад лежали на женщинах, хорошо, тепло, старпом идет.
И вдруг ему почудилось, что где-то на траверзе сказали слово "старпом". Он мгновенно разворачивается всем телом и первому попавшемуся лейтенанту: "Закройте рот!!!"
Это даже не крик, это рев, камнепад, рык, обвал, стихия так падает.
Оцепенели. Одеревенели. До того неожиданно. Да. Секунда проходит, потом старпом движется далее, и с боков, потихоньку попробовав, зачирикали вновь...
Помощник Шинкин думает наперегонки с шагом.
Поэтому всегда можно определить скорость его мышления.
Сам Шинкин маленький колченогий брюнет с ручками-пропеллерами - они у него приделаны сбоку и болтаются.
"Завтра аттестаты! (Быстрей!) Проверить! (Ну!) В дивизии приказы! (Так!) Нарыть! (Ага!) Количество на борту! (Скорость!) Уродов подстричь! (А!) Козлов истребить! (Б!) Физически (Поддать!) Петрова посадить! Через сутки за бутылку выкупит и на ввод ГЭУ. А то напьется, как в прошлый раз! (Бегом!) Химику настучать по роже! Песню распечатать. Списки на классность подать! Ходжимуратова сгноить! Людей сверить! А то получится ху..."
И тут он падает в люк. Тот встретился по дороге и за заботами не был замечен.
Шинкина привезли на корабль на тележке с загипсованной ногой. Грузили на корабль на талях.
На талях он думал медленно: "Завтра... аттестаты... проверить.." - ну и так далее.
(С) А.М.Покровский, 2001
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